Missed Connections: Home Depot

January 30, Emeryville home de pot, 2pm - m4w - 25 Toilet flappers of love.

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:43pm - Don't Go Hungry

Don't go hungry: A young lady walks up to the bus stop with two grocery bags. She tells a guy who's already there that she planned to ride her bike home but she "went crazy at Berkeley Bowl." She needed chicken broth and other stuff. He asks if she "went hungry." She's confused for a sec, and he explains that if you go shopping hungry, you end up buying a lot. Later, she says she's usually at the seafood counter--is that a craigslist casual encounters code or something?

Emery Go Fug: A woman gets on the shuttle at the Pixar stop. She's wearing a very short denim skirt, and thigh-high leg warmers made of heathered dark gray wool that look obviously hand-knit. Did she visit grandma over Christmas in her short, short skirt and did grandma say, "Let me knit you a leg cozy since you like to wear slutty skirts"?! Seriously, they're the ugliest things ever: not even Kate Moss on her best fashion day can rock that hideous thing.

Missed Connections: Emeryville Fire Dept

January 30, My Emeryville Fireman.... - w4m - 29 He bats his lashes, women swoon.

Missed Connections: Bay Street?

January 29, you wish you owned that bag - m4w - 28 Cockblocked by dad and grandma. Hey guy, Bay Street wishes it sold handbags that could pwn Milan.

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:20am - Pixar, Forgetful or Bummed

Pixar, forgetful or bummed about Gerald Ford: The flag on Pixar grounds is still at half staff. It's been exactly a month since Ford died. If the flag is still at half staff on Monday, they forgot about it. If it's not, then they know their Flag Code.

Missed Connections: Elephant Bar

January 25, Elephant Bar last night - m4m - 26 Two ships passing in a chain restaurant.

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:48am - Gimme the Night

Gimme the Night: Around Pixar, George Benson's "Give Me the Night" comes on the radio and the driver's mood is lifted instantly. A woman in chef's whites is spray painting a tree branch white. He yells out at her, "Are ya getting ready for Christmas? Kinda early, innit?" and she smiles and waves. He also honks and waves at the UPS guy. It's like a Diet Coke commercial.

Face it, you're old: Is there a word for someone who looks/dresses young if you look at him/her from behind or neck down, but when you see the face, the person is old? A semi-hip woman wearing a vintage-ish green coat with a fur collar, short skirt, brown suede knee-high boots, and overstuffed red purse looked like she could be late 20s-30s from behind and neck down. Her face was like if Dita Von Teese's face melted: old and haggy with too much makeup in an attempt to disguise the hagginess. Or maybe she just needs a higher wattage light bulb in her bathroom so she can see exactly how much she's laying it on. Yikes.

Missed Connections: Emery Go Round rider

January 24, beautiful women short black curly hair - m4w A potential romance between daily EGR commuters!

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:45pm - Return of PPB

Return of the Ponytail Pretty Boy: Talking at (definitely not "to") another National Holistic Institute classmate. He's stressed out, wants to "go to jujitsu, go snowboarding, cook the salmon in the freezer." Boy, does this guy like to hear the sound of his voice, specifically the sound of his voice talking about jujitsu. There are awkward silences in the conversation. He asks a guy what time it is, then laments he will not be able to make it to the 6pm jujitsu class. Then, he says he would have asked if his female classmate would want to get a beer with him because he's not going to jujitsu but maybe some other night. He asks her if they're going to get lunch tomorrow. She says yes, with hesitation. Dude, she's not that into you. Maybe she'll be more receptive if she's put in a jujitsu half-nelson choke-hold. Also, unnatural jujitsu enthusiasm + NHI = Asian girl fetish? The girl was Asian.

MacArthur BART stop, approx. 10:53am - Business Up Top

Business up top, party on bottom: A Katie Holmes-ish (pre-brainwash, btw) young lady in a crisp, white shirt and a dark overcoat with too-sexy-to-be-businesslike fishnet stockings. #1 on her to do list for 1/24/2007 is: "Price out Martin's loan."

Not quite 20 questions: Every time the Hollis-Amtrak shuttle parks for a few minutes at MacArthur, at least two people come asking if it's the one that goes to the mall or to Powell Street. EGR needs to put up better signage for riders before the drivers go insane answering the same questions. It's driving us insane.

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:28am - Is This Really Jazz?

Is this really jazz?: A very vanilla, chemically-castrated version of "Get Down on It" by Kool & the Gang on KKSF, the "smooth jazz" station. Just because a piece of musical gruel features a sax and has no vocals, it's jazz?

Wheelchair!: The driver secures a wheelchaired passenger at MacArthur BART. The Powell bus pulls up next to the Hollis-Amtrak, and the Powell driver says something to the Hollis driver. The Hollis driver replies, "Wheelchair!" The woman on the wheelchair, who was slumped over lifeless, springs up and says "WHAT?!" No one answers.

Missed Connections: Trader Joe's

January 21, trader joes - m4w - 36 You were some sort of jumpsuit

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:56am - Dog Accoutrements

Dog accoutrements: It's inevitable that people will dress up their little toy breeds, but is it necessary to put a dog backpack on a perfectly respectable purebred German Shepherd Dog who isn't a service animal? Debase yourself with a man purse if you insist, but don't do it to the dog.

Lover's Rock: A meat-n-potatoes looking guy surreptitiously rocking out to Sade's "Sweetest Taboo" on the radio. His inner whatever was really struggling against the repressive American machismo upbringing.

Celebrity Love Child: Dude looks like he's a hybrid of Justin Long (a.k.a. annoying Mac guy) and Cousin Larry from Perfect Strangers.

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 11:01am - Eviction

Eviction: A few BART Police cruisers with lights flashing and what looked like a Caltrans truck, probably dismantling a camp of homeless people under the BART tracks right next to the MacArthur BART station. Two people sitting at the nearby bus shelter with shopping carts piled with their belongings. Not that any time is good for an eviction, but winter/rainy season is the worst time these people can get kicked out of a place they call home, isn't it?

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:05pm - A Couple at Odds

A couple at odds: The man says, "SHUT UP." The woman says, "Don't tell me to shut up. I bet you're eaten up by the guilt." Man walks away. The shuttle arrives. Woman gets on the shuttle by herself. Man gets on just as the shuttle is about to leave. Woman: "I thought you said you'll be back in a minute, you sunnovabitch." He whispers something, they laugh and semi-make out.

A couple at odds, the sequel: As the shuttle pulls into the left turn lane by Pixar, the woman says "So Pixar did move out!" (referring to the company's 2004 threat to leave Emeryville if it didn't get approval to expand by constructing three new buildings on its campus) Man whispers something and she asks, "So Disney bought Pixar?" More whispering, then an aha moment: "Ohhhh, so Pixar bought Walt Disney!"

Missed Connections: Hollis cyclist

January 11, hollis bike rider with guitar strapped to back - w4m Dear cyclist, you have been served with a "notice."

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:01am - Music on the EGR

Music on the Emery Go Round: Most shuttle drivers play KOIT or some other adult contemporary soft rock station. Today, the driver was playing what sounded like a Bollywood soundtrack on casette, but he popped it out before the shuttle reached San Pablo. We hope it wasn't because he thought the riders prefer soft rock. What he played was infinitely more interesting than the Luther Vandross song we've heard upteenth times on the Quiet Storm. There is also a driver who plays KCSM jazz on the Hollis route. That's better than the velvet Gitmo soft rock torture, too.

Missed Connections: Trader Joe's, Starbucks

January 9, A Man and His Dog - Near Starbucks - m4m Stranger in a red truck

January 10, Twas the day before Xmas and at Trader Joes - m4w He could cut off his ear and e-mail it to her?

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:50pm - A CSR's POV

A customer service rep's point of view: Even if a website puts the Xmas order cutoff date in "three-inch-high neon pink letters," people will still place their orders after the cutoff and then complain to customer service for not getting their stuff before Xmas. Their goal is to have 100% of people who call customer service to not call back with the same problem. But out of the tens of thousands of customers, less than one percent contact customer service with a complaint.

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:45am - Geeks vs. the Cool Kids

Geeks vs. the Cool Kids: When the Powell/BART Shopper shuttle arrives at the MacArthur stop, all the hooky-playing truants and mallrats in trendy clothes get up to get on the bus. When the Hollis-Amtrak shuttle arrives, all the geeks get up. Case in point, a dude on the Hollis bus intently reading what looks like a D&D manual. For the Powell riders, D&D equals Dungeons and Dragons. It's a role-playing game, ok?

Missed Connections: Trader Joe's, Bay Street Mall

Do people who work in retail get laid all the time?

Januray 5, Abercrombie at Bay Street Emeryville - m4m U are really cute (Asian guy)

January 8, trader joes joe - w4m I regret not giving you my number, so I'll post a Missed Connections with no personal descriptions whatsoever.

MacArthur BART stop, approx. 10:50am - Hard to be Lazy

Hard to be Lazy: A young woman has a difficult time "being lazy" (i.e., "turning off the phone, sitting at home, etc."). In fact, she is on her way to class then to the "li-barry." A guy she knows buys $600 dollar outfits, though. She does not approve.

Missed Connections: TJ's, MacArthur BART

January 4, "The cute clerk at TJ's - m4w" Is it taboo to ask someone out at his/her place of work?

January 3, "MacArthur BART this afternoon - w4m" "Long and meaningful" eye contact

Powell to Emeryville, approx. 10:55am - Chile Rearing vs. Baggy Pants

Child rearing vs baggy pants: A young man holding a little girl in one arm, while trying to pull his baggy jeans up. As he gets off the shuttle, the pants slowly creep down to around his knees. He makes his way out with baby steps and pulls the pants back up.

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:55pm - Nerd Love

Nerd Love?: A guy enthusiastically summarizes five or six Twighlight Zone episodes to a girl. It's hard to tell if she is equally enthusiastic about hearing the summaries, or if her "really?", "yeah?", and "how did it end?" rejoinders are half-hearted. She admits she is freaked out by the ventriloquist episode.