Powell to Emeryville, approx. 11:13am - Grown Ass Man

Grown Ass Man: A tipster e-mailed us with the following: "spoken word dude talking to other dude. 'She's got a BA. I'm 14 units away. But my degree is better than hers. She's got a BA in psychology. Child psychology. But I'm a grown ass man.'"

Hollis-Amtrack to BART, approx. 5:48pm - Cuts Like a Knife

Cuts Like a Knife: There is a knife sitting on one of the seats in the back. It's a butter knife. Two people felt the need to warn the driver about the butter knife. One person went to grat lengths to describe the butter knife to whomever is on the other end of the phone conversation. This is not how we imagined the Al Qaeda Summer Spectacular.

O Editor! My Editor!: Dude is reading manuscripts, writing editing notes, and will eventually be editing so he can now "bill [himself] as an editor." Also, someone pulled a knife out of a shoe and threatened him for being gay. Now, that's a knife Summer Spectacular.

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 9:45am - Laughter Isn't Best Medicine

Laughter Isn't Best Medicine: An old man with a cane takes a loooong time to get on the bus due to mobility issues. The driver chuckles at him. He says it's hard for him to get around. The driver says "Oh, it's fine." and continues chuckling. Um, ok, since when is it OK to laugh at old people who can't get around? Her friend who is hanging out or whatever in the seat closest to the door doesn't give a shit and sits there yapping away instead of offering the old man the seat. The driver for the Watergate shuttle talks to the Hollis driver from outside the door while smoking; they talk about "Art" getting suspended for a day or two. The old man fans at the cigarette smoke with his newspaper and makes a choking gesture. The Watergate driver walks away mid-conversation.

Stop Smoking, Bitches: Seriously, you people need to stop smoking right next to people at the shuttle stop. We don't want to inhale your carcinogens and we don't want to smell like an ashtray. How much of an inconsiderate asshole do you have to be to sit right next to someone and light up? What, you're from the 1950s? If you need to smoke, that's fine but step away from everyone else. We hate you anyway.

Hollis-Amtrack to BART, approx. 6:15pm

Hate the Robinsons: Pixar employees hating on Disney's Meet the Robinsons, especially the dinosaur fight.

Powell to Emeryville, approx. 10:34am - Bar Fights!

Bar fights: "Yeah, it was two black dudes. There were two or three fights out front. He was really givin' it to him."

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:24 pm - Pop!

Pop: "My knee keeps popping. IT'S POPPING. POPPING!!! It's doing it right now! If it's permanent, I'm gonna have to go get padding or something."

Etiquette for a crowded bus: Surprisingly, many of you need to be told the following points. If you have a big bag or backpack, make sure you're not hitting people's heads as you walk down the aisle; it's close quarters and most people don't complain about it, but it's still rude. If you insist on reading the paper on a packed bus, fold it and don't spread it out into someone else's face. If you step on someone's foot, say "Excuse me." Move all the way to the back of the bus unless you're too short to hold on to the ceiling bars. Don't put your bag on an empty seat and offer your seat to old people, disabled people, and pregnant women.

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:23am - Sex and the City

Sex and the City, dude style: One guy asks his two friends what they're doing tonight, then goes into a story about sending his girlfriend flowers yesterday. When he got home from work, she called to thank him. He reenacts the call in a falsetto: "Oh my gawd, you got me folwerrrrs!!!" The other guys seem to be congratulatory about a Valentine's Day well done; they don't talk about their plans, though. Later, one of the guys mentions his shoes are falling apart. "Vans used to be good. Not anymore...they fall apart." The Valentine's guy suggests, "Walmart, man. It's so cheap, good for 6 months, it's good." The other friend chimes in, "Payless!" Is it finally cool for guys to gush about romance and shoe shopping now?

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 6:05pm - Pissed

Pissed: A dude at the bus stop vents to his friend, "I just missed it. I'm pissed. PISSED. At least I didn't see it drive off. I'd be more pissed. You're right on time, though." Well, the friend probably just uses NextBus, which isn't foolproof, but does give you an idea of when to leave the office.

Neighborhood Watch: One guy has been living in the Mission since he moved to the Bay Area two years ago. He's getting sick of it. He's looking on Craigslist, but his lease actually doesn't expire until August. His friend lives in Russian Hill and wants to move where it's not so hilly and is closer to more "stuff."

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:48pm - Unhappy Feet

Unhappy Feet: A woman is wearing flip flops. Let us remind you, it's February and it's a rainy day. To emphasize, it's February in the northern hemisphere, not the southern hemisphere. She has a big fuzzy coat, but flip flops on her feet. She complains: "I got up at 7:15 to get there on time. On Wednesday, I got there on time and he was late. He's a director. He should be organized!" Does that bitterness keep her feet warm in the winter rain?

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:36am - "Sienna" and "Diddy"

"Sienna" and "Diddy": A few days back, there was a girl smoking a cig at the MacArthur BART stop, covering everyone with the stink. It seemed she was going for the Sienna Miller look. Today, she tries to channel Sienna Miller by bringing a Diddy stand-in. She's on the phone telling the caller, "I have company. I HAVE COMPANY. I HAVE COM-PA-NEEEE." She's eager to get off the phone as not to be rude to her man, but they said almost nothing to each other through their ride on the shuttle.

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 6:21pm - What's Going On?

What's going on at the house?: A young lady talking on the phone: "I'm waiting for the Emery Go Round....Why don't you just go get her?...I'll just see you at the house." Another call a few minutes later: "I'm heading to the house. I'll see you there."

What's going on in the Mission?: A woman on the phone: "Ok, ok, ok, so I'll see you in the Mission."

Is Wednesday night the new Thursday night, which was the new Friday night a while back?

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 11:05am - Grounded

Grounded?: A young girl on her phone, "But that's what MySpace is for!" Most of the conversation is at low volume, but she raises her voice to say, "But I've been working my ass off!" and snaps her phone shut after a few moments of the person on the other end talking. No "bye," no "talk to you later." After the phone conversation, she sends a few text messages. Whatever responses she receives makes her smirk furtively. It's curious why a teen girl would be on the Hollis-Amtrak shuttle (instead of the ones that go to the mall) in the middle of the day.

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:24 pm - Feminazi

Feminazi: "Are you on the 38? I'm waiting for the Emery Go Round....DO NOT MAKE A PIT STOP. DON'T STOP ANYWHERE. DO NOT STOP ANYWHERE." Who's on the other end? A child or a husband? Freaked out he's snogging the secretary like Mayor Newsom?

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:43pm - Don't Go Hungry

Don't go hungry: A young lady walks up to the bus stop with two grocery bags. She tells a guy who's already there that she planned to ride her bike home but she "went crazy at Berkeley Bowl." She needed chicken broth and other stuff. He asks if she "went hungry." She's confused for a sec, and he explains that if you go shopping hungry, you end up buying a lot. Later, she says she's usually at the seafood counter--is that a craigslist casual encounters code or something?

Emery Go Fug: A woman gets on the shuttle at the Pixar stop. She's wearing a very short denim skirt, and thigh-high leg warmers made of heathered dark gray wool that look obviously hand-knit. Did she visit grandma over Christmas in her short, short skirt and did grandma say, "Let me knit you a leg cozy since you like to wear slutty skirts"?! Seriously, they're the ugliest things ever: not even Kate Moss on her best fashion day can rock that hideous thing.

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:48am - Gimme the Night

Gimme the Night: Around Pixar, George Benson's "Give Me the Night" comes on the radio and the driver's mood is lifted instantly. A woman in chef's whites is spray painting a tree branch white. He yells out at her, "Are ya getting ready for Christmas? Kinda early, innit?" and she smiles and waves. He also honks and waves at the UPS guy. It's like a Diet Coke commercial.

Face it, you're old: Is there a word for someone who looks/dresses young if you look at him/her from behind or neck down, but when you see the face, the person is old? A semi-hip woman wearing a vintage-ish green coat with a fur collar, short skirt, brown suede knee-high boots, and overstuffed red purse looked like she could be late 20s-30s from behind and neck down. Her face was like if Dita Von Teese's face melted: old and haggy with too much makeup in an attempt to disguise the hagginess. Or maybe she just needs a higher wattage light bulb in her bathroom so she can see exactly how much she's laying it on. Yikes.

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:45pm - Return of PPB

Return of the Ponytail Pretty Boy: Talking at (definitely not "to") another National Holistic Institute classmate. He's stressed out, wants to "go to jujitsu, go snowboarding, cook the salmon in the freezer." Boy, does this guy like to hear the sound of his voice, specifically the sound of his voice talking about jujitsu. There are awkward silences in the conversation. He asks a guy what time it is, then laments he will not be able to make it to the 6pm jujitsu class. Then, he says he would have asked if his female classmate would want to get a beer with him because he's not going to jujitsu but maybe some other night. He asks her if they're going to get lunch tomorrow. She says yes, with hesitation. Dude, she's not that into you. Maybe she'll be more receptive if she's put in a jujitsu half-nelson choke-hold. Also, unnatural jujitsu enthusiasm + NHI = Asian girl fetish? The girl was Asian.

Hollis-Amtrak to Emeryville, approx. 10:28am - Is This Really Jazz?

Is this really jazz?: A very vanilla, chemically-castrated version of "Get Down on It" by Kool & the Gang on KKSF, the "smooth jazz" station. Just because a piece of musical gruel features a sax and has no vocals, it's jazz?

Wheelchair!: The driver secures a wheelchaired passenger at MacArthur BART. The Powell bus pulls up next to the Hollis-Amtrak, and the Powell driver says something to the Hollis driver. The Hollis driver replies, "Wheelchair!" The woman on the wheelchair, who was slumped over lifeless, springs up and says "WHAT?!" No one answers.

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:05pm - A Couple at Odds

A couple at odds: The man says, "SHUT UP." The woman says, "Don't tell me to shut up. I bet you're eaten up by the guilt." Man walks away. The shuttle arrives. Woman gets on the shuttle by herself. Man gets on just as the shuttle is about to leave. Woman: "I thought you said you'll be back in a minute, you sunnovabitch." He whispers something, they laugh and semi-make out.

A couple at odds, the sequel: As the shuttle pulls into the left turn lane by Pixar, the woman says "So Pixar did move out!" (referring to the company's 2004 threat to leave Emeryville if it didn't get approval to expand by constructing three new buildings on its campus) Man whispers something and she asks, "So Disney bought Pixar?" More whispering, then an aha moment: "Ohhhh, so Pixar bought Walt Disney!"

Hollis-Amtrak to BART, approx. 5:50pm - A CSR's POV

A customer service rep's point of view: Even if a website puts the Xmas order cutoff date in "three-inch-high neon pink letters," people will still place their orders after the cutoff and then complain to customer service for not getting their stuff before Xmas. Their goal is to have 100% of people who call customer service to not call back with the same problem. But out of the tens of thousands of customers, less than one percent contact customer service with a complaint.

MacArthur BART stop, approx. 10:50am - Hard to be Lazy

Hard to be Lazy: A young woman has a difficult time "being lazy" (i.e., "turning off the phone, sitting at home, etc."). In fact, she is on her way to class then to the "li-barry." A guy she knows buys $600 dollar outfits, though. She does not approve.